Monday, May 2, 2011
Hamlet was right. The world is weary, stale, flat, and unprofit- able....
#6- Today I learned....
That some things just won't work out no matter how hard you try.
It just doesn't seem fair to me, all the time and effort I put into things but they never seem to work out. Every time I think that life is starting to take a turn for the better it plummets into a black hole of depression. I'm tired of complaining. I want to be able to be optimistic and be positive.
a wise man once said to me:
"You get what you see in life, if you look at life with a positive mind and over look the small setbacks then you will get an absolutely positive outcome"
Let's be optimistic now shall we?
1. Joshua is nothing more than a piece of scum and starting today I will forget about everything that happened.
2. I will try to be more grateful and forgiving of my parents- I will just shrug everything off from now on. they want to get me married FINE I'm already dead what more can kill me? At this point I just want to GET AWAY and so far this looks like the only way out.
3. I will not take life very seriously from now on- it's obvious that life is a huge joke and we're not going to get the last laugh.
..........not very positive now is it? It's a start though but honestly the only way I can go through my life given the circumstances I am in is to try to win over everything I want. I fought for Joshua. I fought hard and it's not working so far. I can try a whole lot harder but he is not showing me that he is worth fighting for.
Where did our love go? How did we get to where we are now?
I'm a very fickle girl and there has been others but I always end relationships because I miss Joshua- I always come back to him (in a non-rebound way of course)
It may sound corny but I really don't think that I will ever be with another again. It's hard to think of being with another when you already found your life partner....
I know what you are thinking... that it shouldnt matter if my family doesn't approve of him it's MY life I should decide who I will be with for the rest of days but that, my friends, is easier said than done. I simply cannot shame my family, in front of the community, in front of the extended family but most of all in front of god (the universal god). I'm too selfless I will never end up where I want to be in life, so I might as well go with the flow and see where life takes me- where they will take me. I'm a puppet.
I'm barely keeping my head above water and with every breath I take, every waking moment of my day, my thoughts consist of him. His name is always on my tongue and on my lips. Something tells me that it's a huge waste. That the last six years was a massive waste of my time, that we grew apart, that we're different people with different needs. I can't help but think that we are fine it's just dragging on because of my parent's disapproval.
A word of advice to all you downers having a rough day out there.... look up to the sky and whisper a little prayer to another soul who, in all honesty, has it far worse than we do. Be grateful for what you have for you never will know when it will be snatched away. BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, even though it may be absolutely nothing on some days. keep your chin up blog buddies and love will prevail.
Your loving blogger,
Susanne Dey
That some things just won't work out no matter how hard you try.
 |
| "Stuck in Forever" by S.dey |
It just doesn't seem fair to me, all the time and effort I put into things but they never seem to work out. Every time I think that life is starting to take a turn for the better it plummets into a black hole of depression. I'm tired of complaining. I want to be able to be optimistic and be positive.
a wise man once said to me:
"You get what you see in life, if you look at life with a positive mind and over look the small setbacks then you will get an absolutely positive outcome"
Let's be optimistic now shall we?
1. Joshua is nothing more than a piece of scum and starting today I will forget about everything that happened.
2. I will try to be more grateful and forgiving of my parents- I will just shrug everything off from now on. they want to get me married FINE I'm already dead what more can kill me? At this point I just want to GET AWAY and so far this looks like the only way out.
3. I will not take life very seriously from now on- it's obvious that life is a huge joke and we're not going to get the last laugh.
..........not very positive now is it? It's a start though but honestly the only way I can go through my life given the circumstances I am in is to try to win over everything I want. I fought for Joshua. I fought hard and it's not working so far. I can try a whole lot harder but he is not showing me that he is worth fighting for.
Where did our love go? How did we get to where we are now?
I'm a very fickle girl and there has been others but I always end relationships because I miss Joshua- I always come back to him (in a non-rebound way of course)
It may sound corny but I really don't think that I will ever be with another again. It's hard to think of being with another when you already found your life partner....
I know what you are thinking... that it shouldnt matter if my family doesn't approve of him it's MY life I should decide who I will be with for the rest of days but that, my friends, is easier said than done. I simply cannot shame my family, in front of the community, in front of the extended family but most of all in front of god (the universal god). I'm too selfless I will never end up where I want to be in life, so I might as well go with the flow and see where life takes me- where they will take me. I'm a puppet.
I'm barely keeping my head above water and with every breath I take, every waking moment of my day, my thoughts consist of him. His name is always on my tongue and on my lips. Something tells me that it's a huge waste. That the last six years was a massive waste of my time, that we grew apart, that we're different people with different needs. I can't help but think that we are fine it's just dragging on because of my parent's disapproval.
A word of advice to all you downers having a rough day out there.... look up to the sky and whisper a little prayer to another soul who, in all honesty, has it far worse than we do. Be grateful for what you have for you never will know when it will be snatched away. BE HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU HAVE, even though it may be absolutely nothing on some days. keep your chin up blog buddies and love will prevail.
Your loving blogger,
Susanne Dey
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